Sherlock Holmes: A Long Way Back
by Maggieah
Summary: A diary that Sherlock has written for John explaining all the things that had happened and why he needed to do what he had to. Half based from my last fanfic - Sherlock Holmes: Behind The Man. Hope you enjoy this one will be longer than last! disclaimer - characters/locations are not mine.
1. Chapter 1

Sherlock Holmes: A Long Way Back

No I don't usually write diary type things. But this I want to keep a record of my emotions and activities to show you when I return. I want you to know that I do deeply care for you. Everything that I have done since I first met you was for you. You my best friend.

One more miracle for me, Sherlock. Don't. Be. Dead.

Light faded from the dulled bricked building known as home. The gold numbers of 221B didn't shine as bright as before they had paled and dimmed. So had John. Two years since I had left him. Two long isolated years alone. I kept watch for as much as I possibly could but it was hard. I needed to remove the men who still might come and take your life. I needed to destroy Moriarty's web so that no one could come back and hurt us.

I have done that now.

What I'm about to do is going to be difficult. I'm going to have to deceive you one more time to know that this is the right action to take. You will see me not for me, but as an entirely different person. The art of hiding in plain sight. I hope you can understand the difficult position that I have been put in. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me.

Tuesday morning. I watched from a safe distance as John ambled his way into Speedy's café. He attends there every Tuesday morning, 10am sharp. He always gets a coffee and a large breakfast: one egg, two rashers of bacon, a sausage, beans, mushrooms and two pieces of toast. He only ever eats one slice of toast. Today was going to be different, instead of sitting in the background I'm going to approach him. Give him his phone back that he 'left'.

He arrives, sits on the first table facing towards the door and places his order. I then enter. This is what happened –

Me – "Oh sorry could you just get that for me?" I had dropped some coins that rolled under the table John was sitting at.

John – "Yer sure" He bends down to collect the money. "Here you go"

Me – "Ah, thank you"

Now what really happened.

Me – "Oh sorry could you just get that for me?" I had dropped some coins that rolled under the table John was sitting at.

John – "Yer sure"

As he bent over to collect the coins I pickpocket him and took his phone. This was very simple to do as I caused little attention to myself. I also used sleight of hand to remove the phone, so I am certain that no one saw me. Now for getting the phone off John. This was pretty simple as it is to do more with psychology than anything else. As John was distracted with collecting the money and not to bang his head again, he did not notice me carefully removing the phone from his pocket. This is due to the average mind only being able to focus on one task at a moment, plus it was unexpected and all happened rather quickly. Now I could have a light bite to eat before carrying on with task at hand.

During my time waiting for John to finish his meal I decided to delve into his phone. He still had the same phone as he did when I first met him. With the same engraving and scratch marks around the charging socket. But there was something else, there were more scratch marks all over the phone. Some from where it's been in his pocket but others from where he had shaken. Trying to plug it in to charge it. He had started drinking. Well it does explain why I smelt a pungent alcohol smell coming off him.

14 minutes later he paid for the food and wondered out the shop. I did the same and followed him down the street. Unsure of where he was going I rushed off after him and twisted my ankle. Well I say I twisted my ankle… anyway being the kind man that he is he helped me up to the familiar 221B flat and I returned him his phone.

Nothing had changed. My trusty old skull still lay in its original place, my letters stabbed to the top of the mantelpiece and the hideous wallpaper still bares the scar of my boredom. John helped me to the sofa where I so often laid. This old place brought back so many memories of when I and John first started off together. Being the good doctor that he was, he carefully removed my old worn boot and sock.

John felt the bones in my ankle. "Tell me when it hurts" he said in a calm and reassuring manner.

I pined a little. "Yep right there, that hurts a bit" I replied.

"Hmm I don't think it's broken but you've probably sprained it. Few days rest and some painkillers should sort it out, but I would recommend that you go see your GP and get it properly checked. Can I get you anything to drink?" he questioned.

"Cup of tea, no milk would be lovely thank you" said I.

He scuttled off to the kitchen where my old experiments lay, still blissfully unaware of the true me. If I am quite honest I'm surprised that he hasn't seen through my charade. I had smoothed back and parted my hair, put a wedding ring on, big workers boots, baggy jeans, checked shirt and a grey fleece coat, applied brown contact lenses and temporary fake tan to the bits of my skin that were visible.

He returned with the hot, steaming cup of tea and gently handed it over to me.

"Thank you" said I.

He perched on the arm rest next to me and stared at me. For the first time I felt guilt and an uncomfortableness creep over me.

"You look like someone I used to know" he uttered.

"Oh?" I half questioned.

"Yes. Someone I used to know and cared dearly about. He wasn't like anyone I had ever met before and kept himself to himself. He didn't have many friends either."

"Well, that's definitely not like me."

"No why, what are you like?"

"Well for starters, I've recently got married" I raised my hand with the ring on it. "Plus I've got two kids."

I felt so awful for blatantly lying to his face.

"Right, sorry I just…" he trailed off. "… I just miss him."

There were a few moments of silence whilst we finished our cup of tea, then I made up an excuse to leave. I hailed a taxi which took me a few streets down. I got out and walked. I needed to clear my head. I knew exactly what I had to do but the hard part would be doing it. I need to be that miracle that John asked for. Don't. Be. Dead.


	2. Chapter 2

2am Sunday morning. The day I would make John's miracle come true. I had confided in Mycroft and he agreed to help me reveal to John that I have not gone. Preparations were made and a meeting agreed, all that Mycroft needed to do was get John to come.

"Half an hour to get John here Mycroft, you let him in and then leave us alone. Any problems which I doubt there will be, I will call you" I instructed Mycroft.

"Do you want me to wait outside?" he questioned.

"No."

"Do you really think he's going to go for this Sherlock? Especially seeing you jump from this building."

"This is the first place in which I met him and anyway it's your job to get him to come."

"Sherlock he saw you die in front of Bart's Hospital!"

"And now he's going to see me resurrected in Bartholomew's Hospital lab!"

"Sher-"

"No don't Mycroft! Please. Please just do this for me. I know what I am doing, I know what I am asking of you and John. I …" I trailed off. I didn't know what else to say. I just needed Mycroft to trust me.

"Well this is new. The great Sherlock Holmes speechless."

Silence fell between us whilst we finished setting up. Mycroft spent most of his time telling his minions what to do or taking some private phone call. I spent the last hour thinking.

"It's time" called Mycroft.

I nodded and Mycroft went to do his duty. He should arrive at 221B at 6am. John will still be sleeping but usually stirs around this time to go to the toilet. Mycroft will then get him dressed and tell him there's some urgent business that he needs to attend to. John will most likely be tired and confused so will get dressed and then ask what's going on. Mycroft will respond by saying its confidential and I can't tell you until we get to the location. John will ask why me? Mycroft will say because I trust you. All going to plan John will oblige. If not I trust Mycroft to successfully change his mind.

20 minutes later and I get a text from Mycroft saying that they are on their way. Mycroft had bugged the car so I could watch and listen in on the conversation.

"Mycroft why on earth have you brought me here?!" questioned John.

"I can't say until we are inside" replied Mycroft.

"No. No Mycroft I can't come here, stop the car."

"John please."

"STOP THIS CAR NOW!"

"John don't make this do this, I have my orders. Driver lock the doors."

"What orders from who? Who would want me hmm? What reason do you have, to take me back to this place? Have you forgotten what happened here Mycroft?"

"Listen and calm down. You need to follow my orders and do what I say or this could turn ugly."

"Oh, yer so now you're threatening me! I've known you long enough to know that you aren't going to do anything."

I hear the engine of the car stop.

"John please do as I ask and I promise you, all will be fine."

"No! Let me out!"

"Plan B?" Mycroft said to me.

"Yes" I replied to him through his earpiece.

"What? Plan B?" cried John.

The door of the car opened and a large man pushed John Back into his seat.

"Who the hell are you? Mycroft what are you doing?"

"John I'm sorry but you wouldn't listen."

John tried to fight the man off but was over whelmed by the man's strength and power. Mycroft pulled out a needle from his bag and injected it into John's neck.

"Mycroft, what… what is… going… My-Mycroft…" John uttered.

John slowly fell into dreary sleep and was escorted up to the lab. I thanked Mycroft for his troubles and he left. I watched as John peacefully slept on the table and waited for him to come round.


	3. Chapter 3

30 minutes passed until John's eyelids started to flicker. I stood a metre from him as he slowly hauled himself up.

"Mycroft what the…" He froze, his tired skin paled and his eyes widened with shock.

"No." John's head shook from side to side in disbelief. "Nope, you're" his words dwindled to a vague murmur.

I approached him "John, I'm sorry, I didn't want it to go this far but you left me with no choice. I needed to tell you."

"Don't you come any closer!" he yelled and then slipped off the table.

I ran over to try to aid him but he crawled away.

"Get away from me, you're dead! You can't just come back. I saw you. You jumped. I took your pulse, nothing. For god's sake I buried you!"

"I know. I was there."

"Well of course you were there!"

"No I mean I watched you, from a distance. 'One more miracle for me Sherlock. Don't. Be. Dead.' I'm giving you that miracle that you asked for. I'm back John."

"No, you are dead. You're just my, I don't know, sub-consciousness I guess, but you are DEAD!"

"John?"

"Shut up, dead men don't speak!"

"Let me explain – "

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"

I carried on trying to speak to him as calmly I could but he wouldn't have it. He stood up and shoved me away. I fell back to floor.

"No Sherlock, this… This can't be happening!"

I tried once more to talk to him but maybe I should have listened to his warning when he told me to shut up…

"John. Let me explain. I –"

"Nope. You. Are. Dead." With this statement he removed a gun from the back of his trousers and pointed the muzzle directly at my head. I backed off steadily, raising my hands to shoulder height. I could see in his face he was going to pull the trigger. I darted behind one of the desk, a bullet flew past me and imploded into the wall. I had a few seconds to text Mycroft.

Get Here Now! SH

He came round and fired again. I kicked myself off the table and slid backwards. This time the bullet hit me. A sharp searing pain entered the quadriceps of my left leg with the bullet stopping at my femur. I cried out as I've never been shot before. Blood poured out from the wound and creeped across the grey, matted floor. I could really do with John snapping out of this now and helping me. Unfortunately he didn't. Instead he headed straight towards me and re-aimed the gun back at my head. There was nothing I could do, well at least I would go out with a bang, shame it's my best friend who's going to kill me.

He pulled the trigger. Click. Nothing he was out of bullets. Finally a bit of luck. He stormed towards me and I tried to scuttle away. He knelt beside me and place his hands around my throat. Tightening his grip more and more, like a boa-constrictor snake. I grabbed hold of his arms whilst glaring into his eyes, hoping upon hope that he might just stop. My eyes started to well up, all the while it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

And the he just halted. Hands still clasped around my throat but beginning to relax.

"Sherlock?" He spoke.

"Yes" I spluttered back.

Tears trickled down his face and one by one plopped onto my coat, scarf and face.

"You're…"

"Alive" I finished John's sentence.

"Yer. For real this time?"

"Yes John. I'm back."

He took several large gulps and softly said "I missed you."

He removed my scarf and created a make shift bandage for my leg. John placed his head on my chest, grabbing my coat tightly and whispered "Don't ever leave me again." We laid there in silence. Nothing more needed to be said. The light started to die and voices where to be heard echoing around us. I was home at long last and wasn't going anywhere.


End file.
